The Revision of Identity

The Value in Identity

The value that people have in themselves is the main contributor to their self- identity. A person’s self-worth is built throughout the journey of life. Language, culture and expectations are heaped upon a person by his or her family. A person’s peers influence him through acceptance, values, and even exclusion and his success in life will be measured by the power and money that he possesses and in his position at work. The positive or negative influences that come from their family, peers and personal success determines the value that people place in themselves and their identity. 

Someone can define personal value based on the expectations his family has for him. A person’s family defines his value through language and expectations. I feel that Gloria Anzaldua, in her essay, “How To Tame a Wild Tongue” was unhappy with her mother’s directive;”I want you to speak English” (78). Her mother recognized how important her vocal qualities were especially back in the mid 1950’s.  Conformity was a big expectation for all immigrants, not only speaking English but speaking it well. Speaking in a non-traditional dialect or in slang is only suited for less formal situations, even in current time, so speaking with her siblings and cousins would be one of the very few appropriate choices for her. In Alexandra Robbins’s, essay “The Overacheivers” (254), she speaks of the educational expectations that “Julie” placed on herself. Although not defined as pressure, the pressure to achieve high grades for college placement by her parents was also felt. “Julie’s parents had hired a private college counselor to help her work through these decisions.” (254). Her friends and teammates also had expectations of her participation, not only in sports, but in other informal activities as well. Queen Latifah shares the impact her mother had on her personal sense of value in her essay, “That was my mother, Rita Owens. She laid the foundation for me to become a self-proclaimed queen.” (35) and she shows a zeal for young women, especially African-American women, to own a great sense of self-worth. These convictions became her mantra after an incident with the boys in her neighborhood.

A person’s peers play a part in defining a person’s value through acceptance and exclusion.  Peers from school, neighborhoods and extracurricular activities all have input in this value.  In Queen Latifah’s essay, “I know who I am. I am confident. I know God. I can take care of myself. I share my life with others, and I love. – I am worthy of the title Queen. So are you.” (36). Written in the essay “The Overachievers’”, Alexandra Robbins expresses a girl’s surprise that after years of academic work to excel and build her academic resume she is told by a college counselor, hired by her parents that she “not to bother applying early to Stanford because she was unlikely to get in.” (254) What did she work so hard for? As someone considers the exclusions that he has experienced over his academic years, he is drawn to the memories of not having someone to sit with at lunch or next to on the bus. In “High School’s Secret Life” the writer, Emily White, writes about how isolating the experience of “looking around furtively, trying to find her two friends” (15) was “Sitting on the sidelines now, I can still feel the adolescent loneliness in my guts.” (15) These feelings are obviously strong and have motivated several writings as she has pursued her education and career A person’s success adds value to him personally.  As the value of success becomes the focus of this portion of the essay it draws us to a couple of assigned readings by Donald Trump, Kate Ludaman, Eddie Erlandson and Queen Latifah. People do not want to overlook the importance of the pressure to achieve that is brought to light in the essay, “The Overachievers”. Julie recognizes getting into Stanford is all she has been working for.  She feels that she has failed even though she has done absolutely everything she could do prior to applying to the admissions board. Kate Ludaman and Eddie Erlandson acknowledge that the confidence required to succeed is directly linked the power an alpha male seeks. 

Language, expectations, acceptance, exclusion, money, power and position simply set the stage for what comes to light. The way a person feels about himself is a direct reflection of the value he puts on himself. That value is a direct result of the positive or negative influences that come from the way that our family, peers and personal success apply. That is where someone’s Identity is based.

Latterell, Catherine G. Remix: reading and composing culture. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2010.

Strength In People

            People are born and then they die. What they do in between will leave an indelible impression. People influence other people’s lives. It is virtually impossible to live without relating to another person. The greatest contributors to developing a strong sense of self-identity are people. People can contribute as family members, peers, or as an influential person.

            Family members have a vested interest in contributing to someone’s identity. One interest is the expectation that a child will have more opportunities than his parents did. In Gloria Anzaldua’s essay, “How To Tame a Wild Tongue.” Gloria was unhappy with her mother’s directive;”I want you to speak English.” (78) Gloria’s mother was simply expressing that she didn’t want her daughter’s intelligence to be judged because of her accent or slang use of language. Words that come out of a family member’s mouth are very powerful. They can hurt, heal and empower. In Queen Latifa’s essay she states, “That was my mother, Rita Owens, she laid the foundation for me to become a self-proclaimed queen.” (35) Queen Latifa speaks highly of how powerful her mother’s words were to her. Obviously that strength transformed her self-identity. Families can build or inhibit a person’s self-identity by adding to or subtracting to their self-worth. From Alexandra Robbin’s essay, “The Overacheivers”, that “Julie’s parents had hired a private college counselor to help her work through these decisions.” (254) Julie’s parents are expressing their support of Julie and the choices that she will make. As powerful as a family member’s expectations, words and expressions can be, the power of a person’s peers can contribute equally to their developing a strong sense of self-identity.

            Peers also have a significant influence on a person’s self-identity through inclusion and exclusion. A person’s peers have a great influence over the choices that they make. I won’t say that they have sole influence, but the influence is strong. In Emily White’s essay, “High School’s Secret Life”, she remembers the isolating experience of “looking around furtively, trying to find her two friends.” (15) Those friends gave White a sense of belonging and were her safe guard from isolation. The power of exclusion also impacts a person’s identity. People place a value on belonging which adds to the impact of exclusion. A person starts exploring the reasoning for the exclusion. They look for their flaws that caused the exclusion. It becomes a powerful influence in the development of self-identity.

            Beyond family and peers, there are influential people that make appearances in the timeline of a person’s life. Those people usually come to deliver encouragement and evaluations. When I think of a person that is bringing a message of encouragement, I think of Queen Latifa’s statement in her essay, “I know who I am. I am confident. I know God. I can take care of myself. I share my life with others, and I love. – I am worthy of the title Queen. So are you.” (36) That kind of encouragement and those powerful words can have a deep impact on the development of a person’s self-identity. Evaluation is vital for self-improvement. As written in the essay “The Overachievers’”, Alexandra Robbins expresses a girl’s surprise that after years of academic work to excel and build her academic resume she is told by a college counselor, hired by her parents that she “not to bother applying early to Stanford because she was unlikely to get in.” (254) As difficult as this was to hear, it was the truth. This type of truth or evaluation can do one of two things: It can make a person angry, they might find it insulting and intrusive, but it can also spur a person on to try something new or approach something differently. Through encouragement and evaluation a person can grow and strengthen who they are and who they will become, in turn, impacting their sense of self-identity.

            A person’s life will have people come and go. It is the impression that they leave when they go that matters most. Those people contribute to our development as family members through their expectations, words and expressions. They also come as peers that will choose to either include or exclude a person, causing them to search themselves and people of influence also enter lives. Influential people can be in someone’s life for a very short time and yet say something that will encourage a person or cause someone to evaluate their choices. A person will find that the people in their life are the greatest contributors to developing a strong sense of self-identity.